Melissa Jeffcott

1. I know that no one cares nearly so much about what I do, look like, think, or write, as I (used to) think they do, therefore fear doesn’t stop me anymore from trying new things or putting myself out into the world.

2. Learning how to say no gets easier with age, as does saying yes to new opportunities. While it is important to learn how to say ‘no’ to the things that don’t serve you well, I feel it is equally important to learn how to say ‘yes’ to something outside your comfort zone.

3. Being positive gets you much further in life than being negative. Even when your day is turning to crap (and we all have days like that!) taking a minute to give thanks for what you do have can really alter the way you feel and react to those around you.

4. I am no longer defined by my appearance, but I do care about how I look and feel. I feel free of the sense of being judged by others (what a relief), but I also take more effort with myself than I did in my thirties, both in regards to exercise and my appearance. (The fact I was either pregnant or with young children clinging to my ankles for this entire decade has a great deal to do with this!)

5. Enjoying the here and now and living present in the moment is really all we’ve got. Living a mindful life, being aware of and present in the precious little moments that occur each and every day, is not something that I always do, but certainly something that I strive to do.

6. Being a mother has taught me more about myself than any self help book ever could. I certainly don’t believe you need to be a parent to lead a rich and varied life (in fact you will be a lot more rich if you don’t have kids!) But personally speaking, I knew as soon as I held my firstborn in my arms, that this is what life was all about for me. Giving my self (but not all of myself) to my children and experiencing the pure love that exists between us, has made my life so blessed.

7. My friends are the best source of therapy for me- from laughter to tears and back again. While I don’t discount the love and support I get from my husband, having even one or two friends that you can speak freely to without fear of being judged is such a godsend. Whether it’s to celebrate your successes, or pick you up when you’ve had a tough week, good friends truly are worth their weight in gold (particularly if they come bearing Champagne!)

8. I sometimes need time just for myself and this makes me a better person to be around. One of my favourite quotes is “I can take care of everyone- but first me”. Recognising when you need to recharge your batteries with some self care, whether it be yoga, a long walk, a massage, or seeing a chick flick, is not only of benefit for you, but good for those around you as well.  Which leads me to one of my husband’s favourite quotes “A happy wife, means a happy life.”

9. Being an individual is much more interesting than being the same as everyone else.  When I was a teenager all I wanted (like many teenagers) was to fit in and be like everybody else. As I entered into my twenties, I used fashion and music to express my individuality, but I slowly lost this sense of myself as I ‘grew up’ and career and relationships took my focus.  Now in my forties, I no longer play small, and I love being my own person with my own unique voice and feeling of confidence in the person that I am.

10. It is important to tell the people you love how much you love them as often as you can. It may sound obvious, but really, tell the people you love that you love them all the time. Your kids, your partner, your parents, your sister, your best friend (heck, even Ryan Gosling), they all deserve to hear how you feel about them, because lets face it, when it all comes down to it, love is all there is.

What about you? Anything you know for sure as you get older? Please leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you…