Melissa Jeffcott

Kerri Sackville is a columnist, blogger, speaker and the author of ‘When My Husband Does The Dishes…’ and ‘The Little Book Of Anxiety – Confessions From A Worried Life’.

In her spare time she enjoys eating Nutella, fantasizing about Simon Baker, drinking caffeine and alcohol with friends, and lying very, very still on the couch.

Oh, and she is also a fabulous woman on the other side of forty of course!

HOW HAS LIFE CHANGED FOR YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FORTY?

Gosh. My life looks very different from the way it did in my thirties. My writing career only took off in my forties. Both my books and all my high profile work (the columns, TV spots) came in my forties. And I separated from my husband at 44. I am living as the sole adult in a household for the first time in my life. It’s a massive change. I’d never before lived alone, or even decorated my own home. It’s been a huge step for me.

YOU ARE A SUCCESSFUL AUTHOR, WRITER & COMMENTATOR, AND YET YOU RECENTLY WROTE A BLOG POST ABOUT OFTEN FEELING LIKE AN IMPOSTER. WHY DO YOU THINK SO MANY SUCCESSFUL WOMEN FEEL THIS WAY?

You know, even when you ask me that I think, ‘I’m the wrong person to ask! I’m not successful!’ It’s weird because I know that I write well. It was always my strength. So it’s not about doubting my abilities, per se…. it’s more about not seeing myself as others may see me. I see myself as still struggling to establish myself in the industry. I guess women of my generation weren’t taught confidence; certainly I never felt confident in myself. And I think women are frequently far more introspective than men – we question ourselves whilst they just get up and do it. Perhaps that’s the reason?

SOME OF YOUR FUNNIEST (AND HEARTFELT) WRITING IS ABOUT BEING A SINGLE MUM OVER 40 IN THE WORLD OF ONLINE DATING. WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHER WOMEN IN A SIMILAR SITUATION?

Oh lord. You really do need to be quite resilient. You cannot take rejection personally. You have no idea why a man may not be interested in you – perhaps he wants someone younger, or without kids, or who doesn’t remind him of his Aunt Mary. Also don’t rush into it. Take some time to work out who you are and what you need before jumping into the dating world, otherwise you’ll just repeat the mistakes of the past. And be choosy. You’re ALLOWED. Wait for someone you’re mad about, rather than the first guy who has two legs and a pulse.

WHAT ARE SOME SIMPLE THINGS THAT YOU DO FOR SELF CARE?

I nap, a lot. I love taking naps. I get exhausted with looking after the kids and working, and I sleep as much as possible. I also take baths, read a lot of books, meet friends for lunch, browse through shops, talk endlessly to my bestie…. all the things that bring me joy. And I laugh. A lot. My kids and I laugh all the time.

I AM BIG BELIEVER IN FINDING THE FUN AND JOY IN EVERYDAY LIFE. HOW DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE FUN?

My kids and I have a very joyous household. We have all sorts of private jokes and games that we play. We spend a lot of time singing and dancing and being silly. My parents are also frequently hilarious – dinners at their place can be fall-about-laughing funny. I am very careful about the people I surround myself with. I have a small group of very close friends rather than a large group of meh friends. All my closest friends share my sense of humour and we will text and message and make each other laugh during the day.

Thanks so much Kerri, it is great to meet someone who loves napping as much as I do!

You can read Kerri’s fantastic blog ‘Life and other crises’ here, or connect with her on Facebook and Twitter

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